What to Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming: A Guide for Parents & Caregivers
Discovering that your teen is self-harming can be heartbreaking and confusing. You might feel scared, angry, helpless, or unsure what to do next. Take a deep breath — those feelings are valid. What matters most right now is responding with calm, care, and connection.
Step 1: Start With Compassion, Not Judgment
Your teen doesn’t need to be “fixed.” They need to feel safe enough to open up.
Avoid questions like “Why would you do that?” or “What’s wrong with you?” — these can unintentionally add shame.
Instead, try:
“I can see you’re hurting. I’m here with you.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Even if you don’t understand why they’re self-harming, your calm presence can be the first step toward healing.
Step 2: Understand What Self-Harm Means
Self-harm isn’t always a suicide attempt. Many young people use it as a way to:
Cope with overwhelming emotions
Feel a sense of control
Express inner pain they can’t put into words
Release guilt, shame, or sadness
That said, self-harm is always a sign that your child is in emotional distress and needs support.
Step 3: Focus on Safety First
If your teen has open wounds, severe injuries, or expresses thoughts of wanting to die, seek help immediately.
Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
Go to your local emergency department
Stay with your child until you know they’re safe
If the harm isn’t immediately dangerous, focus on creating a safety plan and connecting with professional help.
Step 4: Seek Professional Support
Therapy gives teens a safe, private space to process emotions and learn new coping tools. A therapist can help your teen:
Identify triggers and emotional patterns
Learn healthy ways to regulate big feelings
Build self-compassion and resilience
At Fantasia Therapy Services PLLC, we work collaboratively with families — helping teens heal while supporting parents in understanding and responding effectively.
Step 5: Care for Yourself, Too
Parenting through crisis is hard. Make sure you have your own support system — therapy, parent groups, or trusted friends — so you can show up grounded and steady for your child.
The Bottom Line
If your teen is self-harming, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means they’re hurting and need your love, presence, and guidance. Healing takes time, but with the right care, it is possible.
Fantasia Therapy Services PLLC — where healing feels safe.
In-person & telehealth therapy for teens + families